His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
