girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
