I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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