is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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