Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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