she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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