We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
