Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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