just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
