Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
