You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
