Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
