I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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