My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
