For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
