I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
