We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
