i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
