thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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