you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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