I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
