Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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