woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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