I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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