I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize