I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
