My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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