Pappa wants mamma naked
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
