is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize