I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
