How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My dick has a subreddit
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
