never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize