Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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