I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
