Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i think i have two assholes
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
