Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
