so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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