There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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