Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
