If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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