I look better un-naked...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
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And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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