I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
