And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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