I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
