i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Non-Jews are for practice
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
