so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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