He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
