Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
