im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Will you blow on my dice?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize