pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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