Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
