Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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