she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize