Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Congratulations! We have a period
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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