I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
