Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize