Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
