I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
