I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I could make wine with my vomit
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
They have beer where we have blood.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
