A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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