so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize