i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
